Coaching in Children

Preventing Sibling Rivalry


Sibling rivalry can be expressed as the blending of mixed emotions in the form of feelings of protection, love, intimacy felt with emotions such as anger, boredom, revenge and hate, which are happening to the parents in fear of being shared with others. Situations that determine the extent of the rivalry between siblings are as follows;

  • Changes in parental behaviour with the delivery of a newborn child
  • Relationship between parents and the elder child
  • Age of elder children
  • The way his/her sibling presented
  • Avoiding negative thoughts by understanding the feelings of your child that can arise from having a new sibling.

Indicators of sibling rivalry

Experts say that the reactions of children younger than 5 years old are more intense because of sibling rivalry. Children in this age range may be engage in violence against their siblings, talk like a baby, crawl, start bedwetting, use bottles, finger sucking, nail eating, experience delayed speaking or stuttering, inward closure, be much more dependent on mother or masturbate.. If children are over 7 years old or younger than 2 years old, sibling rivalry may not be experienced much. This is because 2 year olds don’t have such intuition yet and abstract concepts can be understood by children over 7. The most intense period of sibling rivalry is the age range of 2 and 6 years. Children at this age range see their sibling as a new opponent. In this way they also outlaw their behaviour.

How can sibling rivalry be resolved?

First of all, in this regard, parents should stop worrying about the possible conditions they might face. If not, their children will be worried and feel the tension too. It is in your hands to consult a specialist when it is necessary to manage it. Smile to your child and make him/her feel your understanding and trust. Ask your child’s opinion when you are decorating the baby’s room and deciding on the name so that your child can feel the family integrity. Tell your child that the baby will in the mother’s room for a short period of time, just like him/her, and then you will pass the baby to its own room. Be sure to warn your close friends and your family members for not to show interest only to the new born. There is always a need for continued attention to the older child. In the meantime, do not spoil your child with gifts and excessive interest. Otherwise, this may cause problems for the child’s life.


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